Sunday, October 27, 2013

Does the Moon Affect Your Love Life?

The moon is a reflection of the spiritual and emotional forces within us. Always shifting, always changing, it reveals who we are and what we are looking for-especially in the realm of love and romance! In fact, understanding our relationship to the moon is a powerful way to bring us closer to the love relationships we seek.
In Western astrology, the Sun represents who we are in the world, the outward projection of our personality, and the mark we wish to make. By contrast, the moon governs our emotions, our primal instincts, and our unconscious mind. It represents a feminine energy, and is often personified as a goddess or mother. In other words, those deep intuitive urges-those passionate feelings we can't quite describe-are embodied in the moon. No wonder so many love poems have been penned under the influence of its rays!
Soul Mates and the Moon
When we think about finding a soul mate, we think of someone who "gets us" on a profound emotional level-someone with whom we can share our darkest secrets, our hopes and dreams. Like a mother goddess, our soul mate accepts us unconditionally. He or she nurtures and loves us no matter what happens. In other words, when we dream of finding a soul mate, we are tuning in to the energy of the Moon!
It makes sense, then, that the most potent example of astrological synastry (harmony between two birth charts) involves contact between one person's Sun and the other person's Moon, or contact between the two Moons. Carl Jung, the renowned Swiss Psychologist, famously conducted a 'marriage experiment' in which he studied the birth charts of over 500 couples. What he found was an unmistakable trend of Sun-Moon contact between partners. To most astrologers, this came as no surprise-it has long been understood that when one person's Moon hits another person's chart in a significant way, there exists a strong possibility of lasting and meaningful romance.
This does not mean that soul mates must always have strong lunar contact in their birth charts. The compatibility between Moon signs is another important factor. Each of the 24 possible combinations (for example, his Leo Moon combined with your Aquarius Moon, or your Virgo Moon combined with his Sagittarius Moon) presents its own emotional chemistry. It's certainly true that compatibility can take many forms. Nevertheless, in determining whether two people are a perfect match, the Moon is one of the first places any good astrologer will look. Beyond just a physical or intellectual attraction, lunar energy signifies a deep and psychic bond between lovers.
Phases and Tides
A strong initial attraction between two people, including the warm glow of new romance, can often arise from heavenly bodies other than the Moon. Chemistry involving fiery planets, such as the Sun or Mars, will often spark a romance-but what makes it truly last?
The Moon represents tides, phases and mysterious rhythms. As you settle into the reality of living and breathing with another person, you begin to feel 'in sync' with them-or perhaps not! If your emotional needs and expressions seem to interact and flow harmoniously as time goes on, you can bet that your lunar energies are connected. If, on the other hand, you find yourself drawing a complete blank as to what your partner is thinking or feeling, then this lunar connection is missing in some way.
Pulling it all together
The good news is, even if you and your partner do not seem connected on a deep psychic level, it's possible to strengthen this aspect of your relationship by studying and understanding your Moon chemistry. Books, astrologers, and most professional psychics can offer key insights into the magic and mystery of the Moon, and how it relates to your love life. Simply being aware of the Moon's phase, and gazing up at the Moon whenever possible, further helps to strengthen your awareness and understanding of its incredible influence.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Trust and Forgiveness in a Loving Relationship

Trust and the ability to forgive are factors that are essential to any healthy loving relationship and they often go hand in hand. For some people it is easy to trust other people because they have been fortunate to grow up in an environment where they were able to trust their caretakers, and trust was given naturally to them by their caretakers. These individuals did not have to doubt others and their intentions, and they were able to flourish emotionally as they had the confidence and emotional stability that comes from being trusted continuously in their words and actions.
These individuals formed a secure attachment to the people they loved the most, and will naturally seek and desire a loving relationship that is based on complete trust and sharing. For others, trust does not come by so easily, because they grew up in an environment that was tainted by mistrust, lies, deceit and broken promises. These people were taught the hard way, that other people cannot be trusted immediately (if ever), and they learned, that they only really have themselves to rely on in their lives. This last group of people developed an insecure attachment to others, and do therefore not necessarily seek or particularly desire the intimacy and comfort that comes from being in a mutual trusting relationship. In general, people who find it easy to trust will also find it easier to forgive, whereas people who have been hurt and deceived before, will find it much more difficult to forgive and trust again, if trust was ever achieved in the first place.
Because of these different backgrounds and experiences that we all have, there are great differences in the ways we perceive, value and desire trust and forgiveness in our relationships. And these differences, that we are most often unaware of as they influence us on a hidden and subconscious level, can easily cause misunderstandings, disagreements and heated arguments in a loving relationship. One major reason for these disagreements is, that we humans have a tendency to believe that the world is the way we perceive it, and we tend to assume that others are able to to see the world in the same way as us. And when we fall in love, this tendency to compare ourselves and see the many similarities with our chosen one, is even stronger and sometimes completely irrational, making us see and believe in qualities in the other person that are not even there!
If you feel and become aware of these differences in your relationship, it is foremost important not to assume that your partner is in the wrong, and that he or she has to change for things to become better. It is also important to be aware that you both hold the "truth", because your individual truths are based on real facts from previous experiences in your lives. A real solution to your different perceptions on trust and forgiveness, is to take the time to sit down and openly talk with your partner about your different backgrounds and reasons for being the way you are, and then try together to find a compromise and a solution based on these differences. Evidently, it will more of a challenge for the mistrusting partner to share his or hers thoughts openly, so if plain encouragement doesn't work, you may want to seek the assistance of a professional, such as a psychologist or relationship coach, who can guide you in the right directions and pinpoint your blind-points that may be hindering an immediate solution.
In your process of trying to create or re-establish trust and the ability to forgive in your relationship, it can be helpful to remember the following things:
Trust is an emotion, and therefore it can fluctuate from time to time.
Trust can be build in no time, but it takes a considerable time to rebuild, depending on the severity and frequency of the offense.
Trust will never be fostered by secretiveness. Trust is fostered by openness and patience.
To rebuild trust after a breaking point:
One must be trustworthy one day at a time.
The offender must open his/her life completely to the scrutiny of the offended partner, be it email accounts, saving accounts, stockholdings, calendar, background, phone, whereabouts, details of offense, etc.
One must accept the changes that are happening and let go of past failure and ideals.
One must chose to believe the apology accepted.
About forgiveness:
Forgiveness is a conscious decision and a commitment to work towards a better relationship in the future.
Forgiveness does not mean forgetting past event, and forgiveness does not remove the consequences of the hurtful behavior or the hurt emotions.
Forgiveness is a decision not to demand justice, but to show mercy.
Forgiving someone too quickly can be counterproductive: it can harbor resentment and unresolved anger, but without an eventual and sincere forgiveness, the relationship will fail to grow.
Forgiveness hold the power to give renewed life to a relationship and to rebuild a different relationship in the future that is stronger and more satisfactory than the relationship before the hurtful act. Yes, really!

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Tips For Women: How To Win Your Boyfriend's Friends

Impressing your boyfriend's friends isn't as easy as it sounds. It's like aiming for the good graces of his second family. Not getting their stamp of approval may be a reason to break up as it has been said that 83% of men consider this as a deal breaker. Hence, here are five (5) tips to win their hearts and get their thumbs up.
1. Be warm when you meet them. Remember that first impressions last. Let your human pheromones exude your natural charm and grace. Be at your best. Smile! To be introduced to them as "the girlfriend" is a great sign as this connotes that he's serious with you; he's putting your relationship to the next level that he wanted his close buddies to like you too. This also means that their opinions matter to him. Just be yourself when that moment comes.
2. Learn to differentiate "friendly" from "too friendly". Know your boundaries. Too much interest to his pals might put you in a bad light. You wouldn't want them to think that you are a flirt, would you? Do not hug or kiss to greet them. Avoid physical contact. No matter how innocent it may be on your part, it could be taken differently either by the person you hugged or kissed or by the people who saw the whole thing.
3. Regard them as you would with your own friend. It's his best guy's birthday this weekend, help your bf pick out a gift. This simple gesture will be much appreciated both by your partner and his friend. It indicates you care enough to exert the time and effort. Join a group hangout. If they have a basketball playoff this Sunday, watch them play. Keep in mind that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Thus, use this chance to showcase your culinary skills. Bake your specialty cookies or prepare your finest lasagna. Be sincere when you talk to them. Say only the good things and do not obsess on the bad ones. If you see that one of his mates is a bit overweight, do not add insult to injury and mention the obvious. Respect them as you would do with your girlfriends.
4. Be nice to your sweetheart. It's not unusual that they would initially be apprehensive as they see you as a couple but you can easily erase those doubts by being an ideal gf. Make him feel like he's your hero. Respect his decisions and individuality. Appreciate him. Let him experience the passion and excitement that only pheromone advantage can bring. Give him a reason to brag about you so they'll be interested to get to know you more. Show your emotional maturity. Treat him well. If you behave like a child throwing tantrums in the middle of a fight, he might ask for their advice on how to deal with you. Do not give him that opportunity.
5. Recognize his space. Avoid being clingy and sending text every hour when he's on a Friday night out with his guys. Trust him and understand the word "privacy".