Sunday, October 27, 2013

Does the Moon Affect Your Love Life?

The moon is a reflection of the spiritual and emotional forces within us. Always shifting, always changing, it reveals who we are and what we are looking for-especially in the realm of love and romance! In fact, understanding our relationship to the moon is a powerful way to bring us closer to the love relationships we seek.
In Western astrology, the Sun represents who we are in the world, the outward projection of our personality, and the mark we wish to make. By contrast, the moon governs our emotions, our primal instincts, and our unconscious mind. It represents a feminine energy, and is often personified as a goddess or mother. In other words, those deep intuitive urges-those passionate feelings we can't quite describe-are embodied in the moon. No wonder so many love poems have been penned under the influence of its rays!
Soul Mates and the Moon
When we think about finding a soul mate, we think of someone who "gets us" on a profound emotional level-someone with whom we can share our darkest secrets, our hopes and dreams. Like a mother goddess, our soul mate accepts us unconditionally. He or she nurtures and loves us no matter what happens. In other words, when we dream of finding a soul mate, we are tuning in to the energy of the Moon!
It makes sense, then, that the most potent example of astrological synastry (harmony between two birth charts) involves contact between one person's Sun and the other person's Moon, or contact between the two Moons. Carl Jung, the renowned Swiss Psychologist, famously conducted a 'marriage experiment' in which he studied the birth charts of over 500 couples. What he found was an unmistakable trend of Sun-Moon contact between partners. To most astrologers, this came as no surprise-it has long been understood that when one person's Moon hits another person's chart in a significant way, there exists a strong possibility of lasting and meaningful romance.
This does not mean that soul mates must always have strong lunar contact in their birth charts. The compatibility between Moon signs is another important factor. Each of the 24 possible combinations (for example, his Leo Moon combined with your Aquarius Moon, or your Virgo Moon combined with his Sagittarius Moon) presents its own emotional chemistry. It's certainly true that compatibility can take many forms. Nevertheless, in determining whether two people are a perfect match, the Moon is one of the first places any good astrologer will look. Beyond just a physical or intellectual attraction, lunar energy signifies a deep and psychic bond between lovers.
Phases and Tides
A strong initial attraction between two people, including the warm glow of new romance, can often arise from heavenly bodies other than the Moon. Chemistry involving fiery planets, such as the Sun or Mars, will often spark a romance-but what makes it truly last?
The Moon represents tides, phases and mysterious rhythms. As you settle into the reality of living and breathing with another person, you begin to feel 'in sync' with them-or perhaps not! If your emotional needs and expressions seem to interact and flow harmoniously as time goes on, you can bet that your lunar energies are connected. If, on the other hand, you find yourself drawing a complete blank as to what your partner is thinking or feeling, then this lunar connection is missing in some way.
Pulling it all together
The good news is, even if you and your partner do not seem connected on a deep psychic level, it's possible to strengthen this aspect of your relationship by studying and understanding your Moon chemistry. Books, astrologers, and most professional psychics can offer key insights into the magic and mystery of the Moon, and how it relates to your love life. Simply being aware of the Moon's phase, and gazing up at the Moon whenever possible, further helps to strengthen your awareness and understanding of its incredible influence.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Trust and Forgiveness in a Loving Relationship

Trust and the ability to forgive are factors that are essential to any healthy loving relationship and they often go hand in hand. For some people it is easy to trust other people because they have been fortunate to grow up in an environment where they were able to trust their caretakers, and trust was given naturally to them by their caretakers. These individuals did not have to doubt others and their intentions, and they were able to flourish emotionally as they had the confidence and emotional stability that comes from being trusted continuously in their words and actions.
These individuals formed a secure attachment to the people they loved the most, and will naturally seek and desire a loving relationship that is based on complete trust and sharing. For others, trust does not come by so easily, because they grew up in an environment that was tainted by mistrust, lies, deceit and broken promises. These people were taught the hard way, that other people cannot be trusted immediately (if ever), and they learned, that they only really have themselves to rely on in their lives. This last group of people developed an insecure attachment to others, and do therefore not necessarily seek or particularly desire the intimacy and comfort that comes from being in a mutual trusting relationship. In general, people who find it easy to trust will also find it easier to forgive, whereas people who have been hurt and deceived before, will find it much more difficult to forgive and trust again, if trust was ever achieved in the first place.
Because of these different backgrounds and experiences that we all have, there are great differences in the ways we perceive, value and desire trust and forgiveness in our relationships. And these differences, that we are most often unaware of as they influence us on a hidden and subconscious level, can easily cause misunderstandings, disagreements and heated arguments in a loving relationship. One major reason for these disagreements is, that we humans have a tendency to believe that the world is the way we perceive it, and we tend to assume that others are able to to see the world in the same way as us. And when we fall in love, this tendency to compare ourselves and see the many similarities with our chosen one, is even stronger and sometimes completely irrational, making us see and believe in qualities in the other person that are not even there!
If you feel and become aware of these differences in your relationship, it is foremost important not to assume that your partner is in the wrong, and that he or she has to change for things to become better. It is also important to be aware that you both hold the "truth", because your individual truths are based on real facts from previous experiences in your lives. A real solution to your different perceptions on trust and forgiveness, is to take the time to sit down and openly talk with your partner about your different backgrounds and reasons for being the way you are, and then try together to find a compromise and a solution based on these differences. Evidently, it will more of a challenge for the mistrusting partner to share his or hers thoughts openly, so if plain encouragement doesn't work, you may want to seek the assistance of a professional, such as a psychologist or relationship coach, who can guide you in the right directions and pinpoint your blind-points that may be hindering an immediate solution.
In your process of trying to create or re-establish trust and the ability to forgive in your relationship, it can be helpful to remember the following things:
Trust is an emotion, and therefore it can fluctuate from time to time.
Trust can be build in no time, but it takes a considerable time to rebuild, depending on the severity and frequency of the offense.
Trust will never be fostered by secretiveness. Trust is fostered by openness and patience.
To rebuild trust after a breaking point:
One must be trustworthy one day at a time.
The offender must open his/her life completely to the scrutiny of the offended partner, be it email accounts, saving accounts, stockholdings, calendar, background, phone, whereabouts, details of offense, etc.
One must accept the changes that are happening and let go of past failure and ideals.
One must chose to believe the apology accepted.
About forgiveness:
Forgiveness is a conscious decision and a commitment to work towards a better relationship in the future.
Forgiveness does not mean forgetting past event, and forgiveness does not remove the consequences of the hurtful behavior or the hurt emotions.
Forgiveness is a decision not to demand justice, but to show mercy.
Forgiving someone too quickly can be counterproductive: it can harbor resentment and unresolved anger, but without an eventual and sincere forgiveness, the relationship will fail to grow.
Forgiveness hold the power to give renewed life to a relationship and to rebuild a different relationship in the future that is stronger and more satisfactory than the relationship before the hurtful act. Yes, really!

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Tips For Women: How To Win Your Boyfriend's Friends

Impressing your boyfriend's friends isn't as easy as it sounds. It's like aiming for the good graces of his second family. Not getting their stamp of approval may be a reason to break up as it has been said that 83% of men consider this as a deal breaker. Hence, here are five (5) tips to win their hearts and get their thumbs up.
1. Be warm when you meet them. Remember that first impressions last. Let your human pheromones exude your natural charm and grace. Be at your best. Smile! To be introduced to them as "the girlfriend" is a great sign as this connotes that he's serious with you; he's putting your relationship to the next level that he wanted his close buddies to like you too. This also means that their opinions matter to him. Just be yourself when that moment comes.
2. Learn to differentiate "friendly" from "too friendly". Know your boundaries. Too much interest to his pals might put you in a bad light. You wouldn't want them to think that you are a flirt, would you? Do not hug or kiss to greet them. Avoid physical contact. No matter how innocent it may be on your part, it could be taken differently either by the person you hugged or kissed or by the people who saw the whole thing.
3. Regard them as you would with your own friend. It's his best guy's birthday this weekend, help your bf pick out a gift. This simple gesture will be much appreciated both by your partner and his friend. It indicates you care enough to exert the time and effort. Join a group hangout. If they have a basketball playoff this Sunday, watch them play. Keep in mind that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Thus, use this chance to showcase your culinary skills. Bake your specialty cookies or prepare your finest lasagna. Be sincere when you talk to them. Say only the good things and do not obsess on the bad ones. If you see that one of his mates is a bit overweight, do not add insult to injury and mention the obvious. Respect them as you would do with your girlfriends.
4. Be nice to your sweetheart. It's not unusual that they would initially be apprehensive as they see you as a couple but you can easily erase those doubts by being an ideal gf. Make him feel like he's your hero. Respect his decisions and individuality. Appreciate him. Let him experience the passion and excitement that only pheromone advantage can bring. Give him a reason to brag about you so they'll be interested to get to know you more. Show your emotional maturity. Treat him well. If you behave like a child throwing tantrums in the middle of a fight, he might ask for their advice on how to deal with you. Do not give him that opportunity.
5. Recognize his space. Avoid being clingy and sending text every hour when he's on a Friday night out with his guys. Trust him and understand the word "privacy".

Thursday, October 10, 2013

4 Principles of Keeping Love Alive

I am sometimes really frustrated that the education system today does not prepare us for what it TRULY takes to make a romantic relationship work in the long-term. I wish that I had known some of these principles before I got married. Unfortunately I had to make all the mistakes before I learned all of these lessons for the future. I had to develop some compassion for myself because I really didn't have the insights I have today back when I actually needed them. I am therefore committed to keep mastering the principles of keeping love alive, not only to ensure that my clients benefit from all this wisdom but that I ensure my own future happiness in my relationship.
In your next relationship, keep some principles in mind to assist you in keeping love alive. These are tips I have put together after reading 27 books on the topic, interviewing experts and from my own personal experience in working with couples.
Keeping love alive principle #1: Let him win at loving you
This is a lesson I learned the hard way. I had to own up to the fact that I never let my ex-husband win at loving me. I spent most of the time playing hard to get, difficult, dramatic or testing him. Your man needs to feel that by simply being around you, he can make you happy and that you're at peace and fully satisfied in his company. This is why an overly critical woman can make her man feel he's failed at loving her. He'll withdraw his affection and love in return. He may even say things like, "I can't win". Ask yourself, "Have I let him feel he can always win at loving me?" This is a crucial lesson for keeping love alive. When you come home and you're feeling grumpy, ensure your man knows he is amazing and that he makes you very happy and that your moods have nothing to do with him.
Keeping love alive principle #2: Maintain the polarity of your relationship
The feminine essence is: loving, caring, spontaneous, crazy, unpredictable, free, fun, mental, dramatic, turbulent, shrieking at the sight of a mouse/spider/creature with more legs than yourself, outspoken, honest, vulnerable, raw, carefree, real, weepy, emotional, a hurricane, self-expressed, creative, chatty, babbling and making no sense, cooking, loud, noisy, peaceful, sexy, goddess-like, mysterious, a dancing nymph, wanting to be comforted, nurtured, supported and loved. The feminine essence is not: controlling, overly organized, bossy, nagging, changing light bulbs (even if she is perfectly capable of doing so), killing snakes, doing manly chores that require power tools, silent, talking about her emotions instead of feeling them, too intellectual, so damn independent that a man will sense she doesn't need him (sadly, he will be right). Focus on remembering these points whenever you feel your man slipping away from you. Step back into your feminine essence and he will come straight back to you.
Keeping love alive principle #3: Maintain separateness and move to your own rhythm
It was Sherry Argov who distinguished that "men equate longing with love". If you do everything together, there will be no opportunity for your man to experience any longing for you. So, don't jump through hoops for him. Don't suffocate him by always wanting to be where he is or checking up on him. If he texts you, don't respond immediately if you are busy with something else. Wait a little while until you have completed what you were doing before texting him back. If you get home and see there is a message from him, wait until you've settled in, made a cup of tea, had a bath or dinner, or anything else you want to do before checking the message.
NOTE: To keep sexual chemistry alive in your relationship, remain feminine in your relationship and true to your feminine essence. Allow your man to be the man in your life. Keep your own interests and activities alive. Every few nights, ensure you have a gym class, dinner, a movie or a book club with a girlfriend or something that ensures he doesn't always have your movements pinned down. You'll see when you get home afterwards that he's missed you...
Keeping love alive principle #4: When he disappears on you, focus on making yourself happy
Men disappear from time to time and as author John Gray stated in "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". They do go into their caves from time to time. It's a basic need and one that too many women don't understand. When he disappears, he's usually still physically present, but emotionally distant and distracted. At these times, breathe deeply and reassure yourself that this is a test. He is testing your reactions. Our natural instinct is to want to know why. We'll want to know if there's something wrong. No! No! No! This will drive him further into the cave.
You have to focus on making yourself happy. Organize a dinner with your girlfriends. Play tennis. Go to the gym. Have a luxurious bath and pamper session. Whistle while you're cooking dinner. Leave him be. Don't question or inquire. Smile at him and give his hand a squeeze, then walk away and go and be happy.
This will surprise him because men are used to women acting very clingy whenever they retreat into their caves. He will be concerned that your life does not revolve around him and that you seem happy without him doing anything. The hunter within him will return from his cave very fast to reclaim his woman, you'll see!

Saturday, October 5, 2013

Move Out and Move On

I spoke with a client recently who felt a desperate need for change. She had been living in a small house with her partner of four years, but it just wasn't working. Not only was the relationship on the outs, but the house itself was falling apart! Paint was peeling off the walls, the plumbing barely worked, and she spent hours every day fixing things and trying to maintain a semblance of order in their lives. Her partner had seemingly become indifferent, and no matter what she suggested-counseling, taking a trip together, remodeling the house-the gulf between them seemed to widen. What started as a bubbly romance had become little more than a stoic living arrangement. "How did this happen?" She asked. "And how can I find the courage to move on?"
As I tuned into this client's psychic wavelength, answers quickly began to form. I began to see two main reasons why she could not bring herself to 'take the plunge' and enter a new phase of life.
The first reason had to do with a past relationship. I saw a man in her past who had been reluctant to commit. He finally consented to rent a house and move in together, and they lived happily for some time. But then, for no apparent reason, the man left without saying goodbye. The impact this had on my client was significant. Having registered a strong feeling of abandonment and inadequacy, her subconscious mind was working overtime to avoid the same thing happening again. Despite her current relationship not being healthy, she was determined to hold on and make it work. What's more, she was still living in the same house! My client was trying to re-live and rectify a past heartache-at the scene of the crime-rather than doing what her heart really wanted to do, which was let go and move on.
The second reason she was afraid to leave was financial security. The rent on the house was remarkably low, and she had always considered this to be a great bargain. Since money continued to be tight, she didn't want to relinquish her hold on the house and step into uncertain financial territory; even if the rest of her life suffered in the process.
I could see psychically how these two reasons fed each other: The stagnant relationship weakening the integrity of the house, which in turn made the relationship weaker. It was one of those sessions where the connection between reader and client is particularly strong, and I knew right away that the reading would be very clear. As I told my client all that I was seeing, she broke down into tears. She had in fact lived in that very same house with another man, who left one day without saying goodbye. This experience was making it difficult for her to find the courage to move on.
"But how do I overcome my fears and take the next step?" She asked.
The truth is that she had already taken an important step toward doing just that. Once she began to see the situation on a spiritual level, I could feel her already moving toward a resolution. Our inner psychic states are reflected in the outer world; that crumbling house and flat relationship were a perfect example. She was worried about how things would work out if she left, but facing our insecurity often means doing something that feels less than secure-something that tests our faith in the universe. Only when we follow our hearts, and visualise the dream we have for ourselves, do the best solutions fall into place.
A few months later, I had the pleasure of speaking to the same woman again. She had moved into a small but charming apartment for only a slightly higher rent, had gotten rid of many old possessions she didn't need, and was even dating again! Work was going well, and a modest business venture was taking shape between her and trusted friend. Her two old relationships-and the house which represented them-were truly a thing of the past. For the first time in years, she was free to change and grow. Now that's a strong heart in action!

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Three Love Lessons We Should've Learned From Fairytales

As children, the cartoons and movies we watched helped shape the perceptions we had about ourselves and about each other. I identified with superheroes, princesses and the Care Bears. I believed I had superpowers, I believed that somehow even though my start in life was a bit crappy, by some stroke of luck I'd garner the attention of a distinguished fellow, who would seek me out and change my circumstances. Lastly, I believed I could beam my love & care toward someone and it would cure them of whatever anger or evil they possessed as did the Care Bears. Fairy-tale movies in particular began shaping my ideals and future interaction with the opposite sex unbeknownst to me. Fairy-tale movies had three components real life didn't; romance, adventure, and a happy ending where love always overcame the obstacles standing in its way. I'm sure I'm not alone, in focusing in on these three things as it pertained to how my future interactions and relationships would be. After all, women innately have a need and desire to be protected, provided for and chosen. Men naturally want to impress, provide for and feel needed by the woman they love and are with.
Recently as I was watching the Disney movie, The Little Mermaid, I looked a little closer at its fairy-tale story-line, and I began to remember all the other fairy-tale story-lines I've watched and loved from childhood. I realized there are real, practical love lessons in these fairy-tales that I missed altogether. Maybe, had I been able to grasp them earlier, they might have helped me navigate better in relationships and in love. Below are three very necessary love lessons I took from fairy-tale story-lines. They are lessons we still need to learn as adults. These three lessons in love are now really needed in our new world culture of instant gratification. Our picture of what it means to love is terribly distorted because selfish, manipulative love messaging is being projected. The sustainability of marriages is failing as a result.
Love Means Sacrifice
Name one fairy-tale that didn't require someone to have to make a huge sacrifice for the love they wanted? In The Little Mermaid, Ariel sacrificed her voice for legs, even though her voice was the only sure way of Prince Eric knowing she was who he was looking for. To sacrifice means you're willing to give up something for the sake of a better cause, in this example love. It means you value the love you seek to gain more than whatever it is you have to give up for it. It doesn't mean you won't ever get it back, but for a period of time, you feel what you're going after, is much more important. Every fairy-tale ever created required one or both of the lovers to give up something they valued or maybe even needed in order to be able to love the other. They acted unselfishly because they knew the love they'd receive was far more valuable and necessary. They valued love, but specifically love for each other more than anything else. They proved worthy of the love they sought, not because of their sacrifices, but because of their ability to be unselfish. As a result they were often able to have the love and be restored in the things they gave up.
Love Must Overcome Adversity
Prince Eric had to fight Lady Ursula and kill her before he and Ariel could be together and free to explore their love for each other. In every fairy-tale, the prince and princess go through much adversity before they can truly be together and live happily ever after. Their love goes through a series of trials, tests and adversity before they reap any benefits and before they actually are able to be together and explore love. We often don't value what we haven't had to work or fight for. Same thing goes for love.
Love Requires Making a Decision
Before Prince Eric fought Ursula, he decided his love for Ariel was worth it. Just as Ariel decided her love for Prince Eric was worth her giving up her voice. They both made a decision to fight and to make the necessary sacrifices for their love. They both valued the love they shared enough to decide it was worth risking everything for. They decided separately, as individuals, from the beginning. They decided they were going to go all the way to see their love materialize, before they ever got into battle. Making the decision is what gave them the strength, courage, and stick-to-itiveness to keep going in the fight, and to ultimately win the battle for their love. As a result, they get to live happily ever after, together. Their love proved to them that it was worth fighting for and powerful enough to overcome every obstacle that came up against it.
Like me, you were probably oblivious to these important lessons fairy-tale story-lines have tried to share with us over the years. We selectively only want to focus on the happy ending and think we ourselves are able to have the happy ending without the fight, without the sacrifices, and without making a decision to love. Absolutely not! If the make-believe characters didn't get a pass, we, who live in real life, most certainly don't either. Love is not selfish. Our favorite characters showed us they were willing to give up things that they loved and cherished because the love they needed, and were in search of was more important. Love requires us to fight for it. We have to prove ourselves worthy of its rewards. We have to learn to value the love we receive. The battles must be won before there are any rewards in life and in love.
After Ariel and Prince Eric overcame the battles, after they sacrificed, after they decided that the love they shared was worth it, then they were able to live out the happily ever after. Not before. There was no happily ever after until after the blood, sweat and tears that proved them worthy of the love they desired. They went into battle willingly and were serious about fighting to the death for the love they believed in. They made the decision to love wholeheartedly from the beginning. They felt their love was worth it and the sacrifices and the battles did not make them give up on their love, nor make them look for a potentially easier someone to love. They stuck by their decisions and because they stuck it out, were able to enjoy a lasting, happy and fulfilling love with the person they sacrificed, fought and decided on.
Many seasoned couples in love will tell you after they have outlasted the difficulties, the fighting, the adversity that every couple faces, they are happier, more fulfilled, and value and love each other more deeply. The hard work pays off. Did you catch that? Hard work, yes it's synonymous with love. There is no such thing as instant gratification when you seek to build love with someone. Lasting love can only be measured over time. Dust off your favorite childhood fairy-tale and see for yourself the lessons we should've learned from them then, but must learn now if we seek to win in love and be able to sustain that love. Just like there are forces that work to bring two people together in love, there are also forces at work to tear love apart. Love is that powerful. So, don't believe the people, that tell you, you can't have the fairy-tale ending you dream of, sure you can! You now know it comes at a high price. It's up to you to decide if it's worth it!

Friday, September 20, 2013

What Do Men And Women Expect From Each Other?

If there is only one thing that you are given by excessive dating, it is an endless amount of opinions to make someone a good match on relationships and dating.
So, when we enter into the dating field that is the so-called strange wilderness, what kind of behavior is suitable and expected?
You are expected to hold your high standards. Every once in a while, in the relationship or dating game, you have to take the lead and not be content to passively sit back to await things to happen. During a disagreement, you'd better not share cave but convictions. You are expected to accept the consequences along with the rewards and own your sexuality. It is wise not to settle for mediocrity and expect a lot from men. When coupled up, you are able to continue flying solo and living a life you enjoy. You need to find your equilibrium being a feminist and feminine. In the pursuit of finding your happiness, you have to acquiesce to others and bend some traditional gender roles. If you're not fine, you don't have to say you're fine, to be honest instead. Because emotions are not bad inherently, you are expected to never apologize for being emotional.
You are expecting to initiate plans. If you say you will, you have to call, and you need to at least pay for the first date. You are required to order a bottle of wine and make a reservation. You are welcomed to show interest in what I am saying to carry the conversation. You are expected to speak about your interests passionately and speak of your mother fondly. You can have interests, like watching football or playing video games, just won't cut it anymore. You have to stand strong in your beliefs and morals, and show understanding and empathy for those different morals and beliefs. You are expected to treat your partner equal and not write off her experiences only because these experiences are not yours. You have to show affection towards the people and the things you love.
Women and Men
You have to be as honest as possible and be kind toward each other. You should rationally communicate without resorting to passive-aggression and name calling. When you're wrong, you are required to apologize, and when you mean it, say I love you. You have to always support your partner and build the one up. You can push each other and challenge each other to exceed your potential. While figuring out your identity within a couple, you need to hold your individuality. You should appreciate the good times and have tough times. You can date lots of different people and try new things, when you know it's right, commit to one. When it's worth the risk of getting hurt, you can push through the fear and be afraid.
You are expected to expect these things from the people you date, your friends, and yourself. They cannot always meet your expectations. But it's important to establish what we expect from people, so when we are disappointed, we know it. We know that we shouldn't settle. We know that we deserve more from other people and from ourselves.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Learn All About Writing a Love Letter

Being truly, madly, deeply in love is not the easiest mission in the world. As a matter of fact, falling insanely in love with somebody is not a mission at all, not a plan or strategy, but an emotional adventure that uses your heart beats as fuel. Every love story has its own plot, from where life weaves challenges, plans, memories, dreams, regrets, accomplishments, and ultimately, happy endings. Nevertheless, before you and your loved one become the leading protagonists of your own love scenario, you have to first pass love auditions. What are love auditions? Well only, the oldest rule in the book of eternal love: wooing your other half or better yet, succeeding in conquering the heart, mind and soul of another person.
So, if in the past people resorted to society dances, serenades, love letters to win in marriage their other halves, in this digital era, technology advancements has managed to become quite a strong allay for any lover out there. Versatile, flexible and fast - technologies represent unlimited sources of ideas, of alternatives and most of all, of romantic opportunities. In fact, the best example in this case is represented by instant communication. What is so romantic about sending online messages or e-mails? Nothing or everything - it all depends on your personal approach. So, if you are determined to literally sweep your beloved off his/her feet you could surprise him/her with a breathtaking love letter. Even though initially, this task may seem effortless, after several hours of staring at the screen, at the plain title and at the blank file, you will certainly change your mind. Don't give up just yet! Not when technology and implicitly, online love letter examples are eager to intervene.
The mission of these online sources is to introduce you to the world of letter writing, to the essence of love words, of written caresses. Moreover, if little gestures and gallantries can be devoured by the unforgiving passing time, love letters persist to remain, to remind receivers about the love storm that brought them together and still does, day after day. In fact, if your grandparents or parents have ever talked you about their love correspondence, the chances are that you already know the deep significance of these historical love pieces. The good news is that now that you found your prince charming or damsel in distress, you can start your own collection of love memories. So, what better way to start this adventure than by taking a little, yet essential step - learn all about writing a love letter?!
Unlike other tasks that demand tons of theory and practice, love letters can spring into existence by simply exploring other love letter examples. Naturally, if words can be copied, adapted, and readapted - feelings can't be copied and pasted, but their echo can be sent from one heart to another indefinitely. The best part is that the online environment hosts quite an impressive collection of love letters that are waiting to be discovered and attached to other love stories, to other names, to other promises. In conclusion, if people have stopped believing in fairytale love stories and happy endings, love letters represent just the right ingredients to bring magic in their lives.

Monday, September 9, 2013

6 Definite Ways to Win His Love

Men and women speculate if it's possible to make someone fall in love. While it might not be completely dependent on them, you can find things which could be done to tip the scale in your balance. When looked into, people falling in love all experience common issues; physical appeal, time being together, dreaming about one another. In regards to getting a male to fall in love with you, allow me to share a number of things that you can do which are certain to help.
What you speak about
One more tip in getting him to fall for you is in what you speak about. The moments you do use up conversing with each other, try not to speak about the boring matters in life. You wish to keep your conversations enjoyable by discussing exciting things, things you are excited about, and things which he's keen on. This is how your chats will get noticed in his mind, talking about boring and usual subjects are not going to stand out in his head. This is furthermore a great way of making loving memories that he could look back on and reminisce, one more factor in winning his heart.
The stories you tell
It is inevitable that the man you have a crush on will ask the question of how your week was, or ask how you have been doing. Whenever you tell him stories about your lifestyle, aim to tell him exciting tales. Your aim is to put a wonderful image of your life in his mind. Individuals yearn and would like to be part of something enjoyable in life; this consists of somebody with a unique life who's constantly doing remarkable stuff. By doing this it can also push you to start doing exciting things and start living your life to a greater depth.
Promoting yourself
Deciding to enter into a relationship with someone can be likened to promoting a product. No matter what the quality of the item, typically it's the advertising strategy that matters.
With regards to winning his love, you need to sell yourself. There are a lot of wonderful attributes regarding yourself, however he doesn't know that. Although he might know you, he might neglect the outstanding qualities that you have. Knowing somebody takes some time, and he's not psychic. You ought to reveal these qualities for him.
Highlighting the great features regarding yourself could be done via casually mentioning them, or the activities you do which feature those characteristics. So if you're caring, speak about how you volunteer or the things you will do in the week which features it. Do not allow it to go unseen. If you wish to be a little more subtle, get your girlfriend to tell it to him instead of yourself.
Getting on his mind
An important component in people falling in love is getting on his mind. Unless you are frequently on his thoughts, he will not be in love with you. But the good thing is there is something you can do concerning that.
A proven way to keep yourself on his head is by way of a direct technique, sending text messages or posts on his Facebook wall. Do this frequently enough so that he doesn't lose interest in you however not too often so that you give him an opportunity to long for you, possibly 2 - 3 days since the last time you saw him.
If the direct technique is being made use of a lot, try switching to other indirect strategies. Ask a friend to bring you up in their chats. You might also send him subtle gifts, for example biscuits or things for example an item you do not use which he may need. These things could remind him of you any time he sees them long after they've been given away. An extra idea is to rub them with a bit of your perfume because fragrance is the strongest way of recalling memories for men.
The proper look
Definitely physical attraction has a large part in relation to falling in love. And so you have to make the most of it by way of trying to determine what attributes of a lady he loves. By knowing what he is interested in through; his past girlfriends, getting good friends to inquire from him, or discreetly asking him, you can emphasize those characteristics in yourself.
Aside from the right appearance, partnering it up with the perfect perfume is important. Where there's only so much someone could do about their appearance, nobody has a reason for not using the suitable scent. Remember to wear the perfume frequent enough so that he is reminded of you each time he smells it. When you have executed this correctly, you can leave your scent around areas that he frequents; this is a great way of reminding him of you in a subtle way.
Get some time with him
Love doesn't often take place immediately. For most people, they fall in love with someone over a period of time spent with them. Because of this, it's crucial to get as much time together with him when you want his love.
This can be done by; going out right after work is over, with or without friends involved, going on outdoor hikes on Saturdays or Sundays, having lunch breaks with each other, going out for a cup of coffee, and just plain talking with one another. No matter what the event, spend all the time you can with him. If there aren't any opportunities to spend with him, come up with the opportunity and plan the activity. Spending time together with him is a crucial factor when you want his love.
Getting an individual to fall in love may not totally be up to you; nonetheless there are aspects of love that may be manipulated in your favor. Women usually let love take place by luck and not make the most of the opportunity by acting on their own behalf. Employing these tips, in conjunction with some practice, you could get a crush to be in love with you.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Five Ways to Tell If You Are Loved

There are many different ways to tell if we are loved by our partner. It's often the small, subtle things that make the real difference rather than the grand, elaborate gestures. Those natural, automatic actions make the difference between us feeling that we are really loved rather than wondering if our partner is merely going through the motions and paying lip service to the relationship.
Let's look at some of the important ways to tell if you are loved:
- Gifts are an obvious indicator of how our partner feels about us. Remembering special events, significant dates can be an important part of acknowledging our relationship and many people do delight in receiving expensive, lavish gifts, but ultimately it is the thought that counts. When our partner brings home a book that we've expressed an interest in or even a free flyer for a talk by a speaker we admire it's a clear signal that we are loved, cared for, being thought about even when we're not together.
A personalised gift like a framed collage or scrapbook of souvenirs from times shared throughout the relationship can mean so much; assimilating tickets, photos, a shell from our beach holiday, a leaf from a forest walk may cost little in terms of money but the time, effort and thoughtfulness of making such a gesture is a wonderful sign of being loved. Such a gesture often means far more than an expensive piece of jewellery or a bottle of fragrance purchased as an afterthought by a secretary from a high-end store.
- Physical closeness is important in a relationship, but love is not just about sexual intimacy. When we are in a loving relationship we automatically touch each other as we walk by. We may unthinkingly rest a hand on our partner's leg or arm, lay our head on their shoulder. These actions reveal a relaxed ease in being together, a comfortable acceptance of each other's presence. Equally, when a couple start to become estranged it often becomes apparent as the physical and emotional space between them grows. They may even be unaware that the physical distance between them is increasing as they move further and further apart.
- Verbal support is an important way of telling if we are loved. Both giving and receiving unconditional support and praise demonstrates pride in each other which is evident to those who are within earshot. We are loved, cared for and supported by our partner and vice versa. We are proud of each other and not embarrassed to show it. Verbal support and love can include sending a text message that simply says 'thinking of you' or a text kiss. Being loved is also conveyed when we receive a compliment about something specific, where someone has noticed something we have said, done, are wearing, rather than a more general, nondescript comment or remark.
- Having a partner who wants to spend time with us is an important way to tell if we are loved. Sometimes life makes unavoidable demands that reduce the amount of time we can spend together but there are other times which are more flexible and can be negotiated with. When our partner decides not to work, perhaps occasionally declines arrangements with friends, obligations with family in order to spend time with us it allows us to feel loved, important to them, that they want to be with us.
- Quietly doing things to offer support and make our life easier is another way for our partner to show how much they love us. Helping with chores, doing what needs to be done to relieve our stress, helping without having to be asked are all ways they can be supportive in the relationship and demonstrate their love and consideration. Our partner benefits as a consequence because by helping us and ensuring that we feel respected, appreciated we also feel less tired, stressed, taken for granted, and ultimately more happy and loved within the relationship.
Susan Leigh is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist who works with stressed individuals to promote confidence and self belief, with couples experiencing relationship difficulties to improve communications and understanding and with business clients to support the health and motivation levels of individuals and teams.

Friday, August 30, 2013

Real Love Rejoices With the Truth

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth:
When love is in our hearts we will seek the good, the truth, and live in righteousness. Instead of promoting wrong doing and injustice, love seeks to end it. It seeks the good for our fellow man. The mere nature of love is found in desiring the best for everyone. Hence, when a man has love in his heart he seeks the good and not any harm for those around him.
If love sees a wrong or injustice, it is grieved. Love will make you stand up for and do what is right. It'll make you despise evil. Actually it will make you hate it. It'll make you hate the mere thought of anyone being mistreated or abused. Love sees the injustices of the world and wants to end them. Love sees a child being abused and rescues it. It sees a woman being assaulted and comes to her aid. It sees someone hungry and feeds them. It sees someone hurting and comforts them. It sees someone being neglected and gives them what they need. Jesus Christ put it best when he said in Matthew 25:35-36 "For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me." When love is in our hearts, we will do these things and much more. Love looks for the good and if it finds none, it brings good to it. Evil always has a victim, but love always has a beneficiary. The nature of love is to make everybody beneficiaries, not victims.
Proverbs 6:16-19 states "There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers."
Love does not abuse, it does not manipulate, and it does exploit. It doesn't cause suffering. Men, when we have love in our hearts, we will not desire to do anyone any harm. Whether it's our wives, families, our friends, or complete strangers, we will not seek to cause anyone pain, harm, or misfortune. We will not exploit, for that is selfish. We will not lie for that is deception. We will not manipulate, for that is a form of control.
Another aspect of not rejoicing in evil is that if we do something wrong, we should seek to make it right. As much as we may try, we are not perfect. In anger or frustration, there are times when we may say something that is inappropriate or hurtful. We may do something that we know is not right and disrespectful. When we perceive or are notified that we have committed a wrong, we must apologize and seek to make it right. Remember, love is not proud. Sometimes it's very difficult to admit when we are wrong and then it may be even more difficult to ask for forgiveness. This is what love does. Real love seeks restoration and harmony. It seeks forgiveness and accountability. A real man is able to admit when he is wrong and ask for forgiveness. However seeking forgiveness is not enough. We must then repent. Repent means to turn away and not commit the same offense again. We must learn from our mistakes and become better men.
If we are to be the men God has destined us to be, we must have a heart that does not rejoice with evil, but rejoices with the truth.
Now here is a question for you, what is truth? Many people have sought to define truth throughout the years. In the book of John, chapter 6 verse 4, Jesus Christ makes this powerful statement. "I am the way, the truth, and the life." What does Jesus mean with this statement? Jesus is saying that he is the way, so that you will never be lost. He is the truth so that you will never be deceived, and he is the life so that you will have everlasting life. You see, with Jesus we have the fullness of love. "Do to others as you would have them do to you,"(Matthew 7:12), "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends." (John 15:13), Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." (John 13:34) "... God is love." (1 John 4:8)
If we don't have God in our lives, then we are missing the full aspect of love. Oh, we may have some love, or a portion of love, but when we have God we then have the ability to have the fullness of love. Oh my fellow men, there is nothing to compare to the fullness of love. There is nothing to compare to God. I encourage you to seek "the way, the truth, and the life." Seek God, who is found in Jesus Christ. I encourage you to "Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him." (Psalms 34:8)

Monday, August 26, 2013

Secrecy in a Toxic Relationship

Have you noticed you stopped telling some of your closest friends or family members about your current relationship? Maybe on some gut level you know what they might say is true, about the one you're in relationship with. One of the most common things a person does when they are in a toxic relationship, is starting to keep secrets from other significant people in your life. Have you considered some of the other reasons why on a deeper level? I encourage you to really think it through with some of the following possibilities.
  1. What family and friend say is true, but the truth is you don't want to end it. I suggested that friends and family would try to get you to re-consider the toxic relationship. Why? Is it possible that your significant other is disrespectful of you? Doesn't consider your feelings? At worst, perhaps they are even abusive towards you. Maybe you don't want to have family members or friends tell you this because somehow you feel you don't have the strength to end the relationship. This is exactly why it's to your best interest to not keep everything so secret. (I'm not saying to announce it to the whole world either, be selective on who and what you share.) Maybe consider going to see a professional counselor or therapist. Perhaps it's a good friend you trust who would be supportive of you.

  2. It's too uncomfortable. Change is usually uncomfortable for all of us, even good changes. What about small steps at a time? One of the ways to help you lesson the discomfort of distancing or ending a toxic relationship is don't isolate yourself. One of the first things you can do is to surround yourself with very supportive people, such as suggested in 1, above.

  3. Do you have 'rescuer's mentality? One of the hardest things to face is the possibility that we struggle with codependent behaviors that allows abusers free access into our lives. 'Rescuing mentality' is a type of codependent behavior that does exactly that. That means, you allow abusive behavior into your life because you feel you can change or heal the other person. In essence, a rescuer enables an abuser's bad behavior and gives them permission to trample on you and everything related to you. It keeps them from facing the consequences of their bad behavior. No one can do that. You can only work on you. Abusers can only admit to themselves what they are doing, and most of the time they usually won't. It is a myth to believe if you love them enough or are tolerant enough of abusive behavior, the toxic person will change.

  4. Boundaries. If you allow abusive behavior and do not set appropriate boundaries with consequences, chances are you likely struggle with boundary issues. We all need healthy boundaries and limits to keep all of our relationships healthy. Appropriate and healthy boundaries takes time to learn, or even re-learn if you never had that opportunity or modeled in your family of origin. There is a lot of great resources such as articles or books on boundaries via the internet. If you've really had some struggles with boundaries, it might be in your best interest to find a therapist you feel comfortable to begin working on breaches with your boundaries. You might be able to find support groups as well.

  5. You're afraid you'll never find anyone else. Unfortunately, this is the common mindset of those who are trapped in a toxic relationship. The toxic person in your life might even try to prevent you from leaving them by plaguing on this fearful thought. The question is, if someone is disrespectful, abusive and using you, is that someone who really cares about you? No toxic relationship is worth being drained dry for. As long as you are in a toxic relationship, there is no room for you to heal or be prepare for a healthy relationship to come into your life with someone else.
If the person you are in a relationship with is actually pressuring you to keep aspects of the relationship a secret, such as abusive behavior, this is a significant red flag. (e.g. he/she manipulates you through guilt trips, borrows or steals money from you and never re-pays you, tries to control you) Secrecy, whether you are pressured into it, or you find yourself compelled to keep secrets is one of the signs of a toxic relationship. (I am not talking about healthy privacy here.) This article is designed to not only help you think about how it's a red flag, but also explore possibilities why you might be keeping unhealthy aspects of the relationship you are in, a secret.

Friday, August 16, 2013

Real Love Always Protects and Trusts

Love always protects:
Just as a mother will protect her baby from harm, love will also lead us to protecting others. When love is in our hearts protecting those who are close to us comes naturally. As husbands and fathers we are naturally very mindful of protecting our wives and children. The protection that love inspires does not merely end with our inner circle of family and close friends but also expands to anyone who might need our help. Like those subjected to or in danger of abuse, neglect, and mistreatment. It's the love inside of us that sees some one hungry and feeds them. That hears of a child being abused and wants to rescue them. That sees a woman being assaulted and protects her.
Love looks out for the other guy, for the little person. It does not bully, abuse, or assault. It does not manipulate, deceive, or belittle. Love desires for everyone to be treated fairly with dignity and respect. When this desire is in our hearts, it greatly affects our interactions with each other for the better.
Love is also perceptive. If you perceive that someone's actions will lead to them getting hurt, you should warn them of the danger ahead. Just as you would warn a child to look both ways when crossing the street, we should also warn those we know who may be engaged in something that could lead to them getting hurt. Love will always warn of danger. Even though we may not be able to stop someone from proceeding on their current course, we should always caution them hoping that they will see the truth and heed our warnings.
Love always trusts;
So much of our lives are built around trust. In fact, we cannot live in this world without it. It should be no wonder that trust is a large part of love. We cannot have meaningful marriages without trust. We also cannot have friendships of any kind without trust. Even when you place your money in a bank, you are trusting it will be safe. When you get a hair cut you are trusting the skills of the barber. When you get in a plane you are trusting the skills of the pilot. When you pray you are trusting God. We cannot live our lives without trust.
Trust is an interesting thing in that it can be broken. Even with all the love and goodwill we can manifest, our trust in another person can be shattered. As much as we may love someone they may prove themselves to be untrustworthy. Now I want to make it clear that God is not saying that we are to blindly trust people, or continually trust someone who has broken faith with us, especially if they continue to do so without repenting or turning away from their actions. With that being said, what does it mean when God says "love always trusts"? Well, it seems like love always trusts in itself. What I mean is that we are to always trust in love. No matter how we may have been treated or how much someone has proven themselves untrustworthy, we are to always trust in love. Never let someone's unfaithfulness, abuse, or deception stop you from believing in and living a life of love. Please do not get this confused with taking abuse or mistreatment. Some people you may have to love with an arrest warrant, love with a divorce, or love from a distance, but no one should ever make us stop believing and trusting in love itself. The truth is, God is love. 1 John 4:8 reads "Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."
Since God is love, we should always trust in love, hence we should always trust in God. Love is wonderful because it's who God is. It's a perfect description of his character. Therefore we should always trust in love and we should always trust in God. It's very unfortunate that people do not always live a life of love. This however should never make us give up on love to speak. You may have to give up on that person and let them go, but never give up on love. Men, if we are going to be better men, we should always trust in love. We should always trust in God.

Monday, August 12, 2013

All You Need Is Love, But Is Love Enough?

The Beatles said it when they sang "All you need is love", but really, is love enough? Many people do believe that love and the connection they share with the one they love, their relationship will succeed. Many people believe that love is all you need and that love which is meant to be will be will conquer all.
Those statements, although very romantic, are not realistic. Life happens, and even the best of couples can get torn apart. Love is not always enough and does not always survive unscathed. Many people in soulmate relationships live under that false assumption that nothing can destroy their relationship. This is simply not true. How we behave and the things we say and do have a direct affect on our love and relationships. If the connection between you and your soulmate was so strong then why are you apart? Why are you and your soulmate not communicating properly? Why are you and your soulmate growing further and further part?
People believe that soul mates and twinflames always work things out. They believe that every obstacle can be overcome, simply because they are deeply connected. When it comes to love, it does not always keep us together, get us back together, or keep us from breaking up. People can start a relationship, develop feelings for one another, but for one reason or another, the relationship ends. Life is not always easy, in fact life can be very hard, just like matters of the heart. All relationships will have their ups and downs, but if your relationships has extreme highs and extreme lows, you may need guidance to get it to the level place. The extreme highs do not, and should not make up for the extreme lows. Your soulmate relationship should not go to extreme lows in the first place. A soulmate reading can help you get to the root of the problems in your soulmate relationship so you can avoid those lows as best as possible. Some things are out of our control, but what IS in your control you CAN control.
Our desire and need for others is what sustains and supports us through our daily lives. We should not leave it to fate, chance, or destiny to decide if our love will grow, or survive. Don't keep yourself from doing what you can to successfully maintain a loving relationship with your soulmate. Take charge of the most important relationship in your life and do whatever you can to allow it to flourish.
Love may not be enough, but with some work, effort, and the guidance of soulmate psychics, Lady Sarah and Sophia Elise, you can discover all you need to keep your love alive. Lady Sarah and Sophia Elise have helped many couples keep their relationship on track, and kept the feelings between them growing and evolving.

Monday, August 5, 2013

Romance Re-Runs: Are You Sabotaging Your Love Life?

We are programmed from childhood how we want our relationships to be. Happily ever after, no doubt. Problem is, we wind up sabotaging ourselves and partners by comparing our present to the fantasy we created back then. By taking a good look at the movies of our minds, we can make our magical thinking history. Although men too have fantasy "women programming", that's another story. This article is written from a feminine perspective.
Remember reading Cinderella, and later on loving the TV series Sex in the City? These stories promised that one day the prince will come and save us from our mundane or lonely life. Then it happens! He appears. We gladly commit. We buy the dress and think we will live happily ever after... but as time and wishes pass, we find ourselves disappointed and downcast. You'd think we would give up our fairy-tales and chose a more realistic life story to live into. Yet so many of us still suffer over the soap opera we seem to be living. We keep our fantasy reruns playing to rival our reality. It's like having a split screen with two movies running at the same time. One is showing Prince Charming... the one he "should be". The other is The Disenchanting Frog... the one snoring on the sofa.
So Cinderella did NOT get to stay at the ball. And just like in Sex in the City, the pouting protagonist whines about the brevity of romance as she dreams of the "next one". We hardly realize our mind is stationed on an endless loop creating our dreary drama as our magical thinking drons on.
If we're depressed and disillusioned over our unrecognized dreams or romantic expectations, it helps to remember it's our own mind's movie. We're the protagonist, the storyteller and the script writer. We can even direct how to act and re-act in every scene. But it is easier to focus on the Frog. It seems everything we do has payoffs. Focusing on the relationship and our disappointment with the absent "Prince" is a distraction from us operating our own life. The attachment to old reruns keeps us irresponsible and dependent, just like when we were little and wishing for a magic wand or savior to change our life. When our magic wand fails to work, at least we have someone else to blame it on. Hardly a healthy payoff, as doing so prevents us from creating our happiness now.
When stuff happens and people don't behave, we need to write a new script for our mind's myths and stop the repeats of former fixed fantasies. If our Prince Charming is being a Total Toad, we can remember that everything has a shadow, and that it is our adherence to high hopes casting our darkness. We can feel pain or loss in the moment and still choose NOT TO SUFFER, remembering we make up the stories. Loss and pain are part of life, but suffering is optional.
Here are 3 ways to Refresh Romance:
1. Identify the emotions you have been experiencing regarding your relationship. Write them on the left side of the page. (Sad, Scared, Angry, Jealous, Happy, Joyful, etc.)
2. Our beliefs create our emotional states. Write the belief or expectation to the right of the feeling state. Then ask yourself does this belief serve me? If you cannot change your situation, change your mind.
3. We can choose a new story. Give a name/title to the story you are in now. Write it down. If it creates suffering, rewrite it! Make up a new, realistic and happier title.
It's easy to say that we need to change our thinking. It's the doing part that takes intentional effort and creates our experiential change. By becoming aware of our mind's make-beliefs, we can start to turn off the old re-runs, commit to becoming responsible for our mind-movies and become more accepting of what is. Our Prince-Frog might then awaken with us singing "Ding-Dong The Witch is Dead."